Back to the roadblock

Hey guys.

I guess....I always had this problem.
I was talking to a few friends a few minutes ago....and I found out my ex has a new relationship now. Normally, I should be happy for her. I am happy for her. But..there's a part of me that doesn't want to do that.
This other part of me feels like this:

I kinda...weak, emotionally
cuz it brings me back to memories i don't wanna re-live
you know all about my messed up relationship with Tina, right?
I can't believe it still kinda affects me now
basically....
When I see/find out Tina's in a relationship again, my heart stops and drops down a little.
cuz it reminds me of my failure. It reminds me that I wasn't good enough.
Really, I can't believe i feel like this. I told myself I wouldn't

- Sigh - I guess that what happens when you break up for the first time. It just holds onto you and you feel hurt every time something changes.
But at the same time, I had a friend to pull me through. Thanks, Vani. Maybe you feel like you didn't do much, but just listening to me and providing the smallest advice has already made the difference to see this situation in a different viewpoint.

...yeah, just a short snapshot of my life.

Jeffrey Lo
Peace Love Respect