Feels....different.

Feels lonely all of a sudden.
Like...everything left.

Doesn't feel the same.
Am I missing something?
Is it me? Haha, it probably is me.

- Sigh - I miss you.

All in all

You know, I really want to talk to you.
I really want to have conversations with you again.
But I don't want to look weak or desperate, like I want you in my life...even though I do.
My pride's gotten the better of me.

I'm afraid of feeling the same rejection.
I'm afraid of being shut down again.

Or maybe you've really forgotten about me altogether.
Maybe I'm really nothing to you anymore.
I'm finally what I promised you I wouldn't be. A nobody.....

Uhm.......uh......

I don't know what to do.
I don't what what I should do.
I'm so....confused.

Please, tell me. What do you want?

Somehow...I'm more afraid than before

You gave me another chance. Again.

But the thing is...a part of me, a small, small part of me, wanted you to be strong and say no.
A part of me wanted to see you just reject all my pleas for another chance.

Cuz I don't deserve another one. I don't deserve another opportunity to hurt you.
That's all I've ever done. That's the result of anything I've done with or to you.

I can't keep the promises I make to you.
Goodness, I really wish I could. I really want to keep all of them.
But time after time, I watch myself screw up.

And now, I'm so scared.
Scared of failing. Again.
Scared of falling short, again.

So scared of hurting you again.

How did it come to this?

This feeling is.....unique.
The painful thoughts of the past, never-ending.

I feel like screaming.
Roaring like a lion in the wild.
Unleashing all my pain, anger.

But in everything, all things and all times,

Praise the Lord.

Too close, at least for me

I don't know if you still keep up with this anymore.
But I suddenly feel a need to put this here.

I don't know how many times I've already messed it up.
I hope I don't do it again in the future.
I would promise you, but that doesn't have value anymore.

All I can say is...
I know this is my last chance.
I know if I screw up again, then that's it.

I'm sorry
For leaving you wanting, lacking
For filling you with anger and hatred

I can't ever fix those anymore, I can only make sure it doesn't happen again.

This is my last chance.
Thank you for giving it to me.

Jeffrey Lo
Peace Love Respect

It's been a while, hasn't it....

You know, if you want to talk, you could just tell me.
But at the same time, you want me to start the conversation.....
I've been doing well. Marks dropped since high school, but that's expected, right?
Keeping up with God's been...tougher. But that's expected too.
Overall, it's been good.



I'm sorry. I'm really am.
We've drifted so far apart.....I don't even know what I can do to change it back.
I'm just....so sorry.